That day, 30 plus years ago, stays etched in my mind. It was a day like any other; kids off to school, work, dinner and then… Instead of relaxing with my family, I fell on the floor sobbing; “I can’t give anymore, I’m a failure as a mom, wife and woman”
I’m assuming I’m not the first nor the last woman who has had something like this happen. By the way, my husband and pre-teen children are standing next to me saying, “Honey, Mom I’m glad to help you, but you won’t let me.”
An article from the Cleveland Clinic quotes “Women find it harder to say no to others’ requests and often feel guilty if they can’t please everyone. They often spend less time nurturing their own emotional and physical needs, as that might be perceived as selfish.” Does that sound like someone you view daily in the mirror?
In those statements of “can’t please everyone”, “perceived as selfish”, you’ll see pride and ego at the root. Rephrased, as I saw them that eventful night; “Only I that can make them happy” and “if I don’t do this they won’t think I’m perfect”.
My heart, mind and soul were focused on myself, not on my husband, children or God.
Fast forward to present day. Now I confidently say “ Thank you for asking me but NO Thank-you.” I allow laundry to pile up one more day or to ask a client if I can get back to them in 2 rather than 1 day. What has changed?, my focus. Nowadays I start and end with God. My focus must remain on Him to maintain a well-adjusted life. You say; “it’s easier said than done. As soon as I get out of bed someone or something pulls me this way and that!”. When I say focus this doesn’t mean you need to spend every minute reciting scripture.
It’s giving God the best you can.
In one of my most played songs, Once and For All by Lauren Daigle, the first few lines read:
God I give You all I can today, These scattered ashes that I hid away, I lay them all at Your feet
Ladies, Pray/Lay what you can’t do and who you aren’t at God’s feet. He doesn’t ask you to give more than you humanly can. He simply asks for the best you can give. Trust as your day unfolds, He will show you the way to do what needs to done and set aside what can wait until another day.
love to you by a woman who still struggles, Debbie
